It's time
by 68 stones from a broken heart
Summary: essence. Is it a dream? Or destiny.


**This is my highschool exit level paper on "essence". Read and Review. xoxo**

I was never anything special, always just another face in the crowd. The world was an enormous place and I was an average height, average looking, average girl. Nothing special. I just graduated year 12. I'm a very average person all my teachers said. I always got B's and never got noticed. That's me, in one word, average. Yet every night I dream. I had dreams I would make it big, go on to be huge. Rich, famous the life everyone wanted, but most of all I was happy.

People have always told me, "_You're not poor, you get almost anything you ask for, you went to the states best private school, yet you can't smile. You should be on top of the world_." I heard that from everyone. My aunts, my uncles, even family friends, what is it about me that people don't understand? But of course I know the answer to that. I am supposed to want to be my mother, a woman who goes by in life, never pushing the limits, never breaking the rules, never being true to herself. Sure she may be happy, well content now but she took years for that to be so.

My mum always did what she was told. She went to uni and studied to be a nurse because her parents told her to. She became a nurse, married a doctor and moved to the suburbs, had children and left work. She is what everyone wants her to be, well everyone except me.

But I'm not like my mother, I can't be, she is this perfectly average person living in a bubble. I on the other hand do not want to live in a bubble I want to be fee and escape. But I won't. I will always be just like my mum, an average person.

People tell me, go to uni, become a lawyer, get married, be happy. Bu why are people so naive and against change, is a woman supposed to magically become happy as soon as she gets married, honestly. I had a dream, well a reoccurring dream, where I was in America, not in Adelaide, but America, I was at this party, in a gorgeous dress, much nicer than anything I've ever worn, even to the formal. And I was with this guy, he was so hot, I think we were at a charity event, but everyone seemed to know him, but who wouldn't remember him, purple and blue hair, facial hair that looked like it took four years to perfect and a black and orange pinstripe suit. And I saw us together, we looked so happy, so in love, and ever since then I haven't been able to shake this feeling, like I myself, my average self am really in love.

Well I guess if the dream taught me anything its that I know I'm not like my family, and I need to leave, I can't stay here, I have to explore the world. Maybe I am destined to live in Australia and get married to a doctor and have kids that go to a private school, but as my philosophy teacher always said '_you have to be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become_' and he's right, I need to free myself from this private school girl with plenty of money image and just allow myself to try everything. I need to explore the ideas of life.

Evolution is upon us, we have evolved from apes to humans, from pond scum to fish, so why not from average Lizabeth Curry to, well I'm not sure but there must be something more than average.

Now all I have to do is tell my parents, that'll work well. "_Mum, dad, I hate your way of life it is too sheltered and boring. I am not going to go to uni or make anything special of my life, I ma moving to America to get rich and famous._" Oh yea, that'll go real well. Then I'll get the lovely 'you're smarter than this' or the 'it's an American dream, a dream that's all' lecture and get told to stop being stupid and come back to reality.

Only problem with reality is that without a dream world or magic and imagination, there is no reality. I'm sure they're right though, that it is just a fantasy, that I will never become great, but they also said to never stop believing in your self, and be all that I can be, so I must try and be who I believe I can. Whether or not people believe me isn't that important. Its that I try, something else my parents taught me.

I guess looking back on my life so far they have taught me well, they taught me to be good and fair and to always let people voice their opinions, so I guess they have done a fine job raising me these past seventeen years, always providing me with everything I really need and doing right by me. But there is a time in every relationship where people must leave the security net and face the consequences of their actions and I believe that I am ready for that stage in my life. I want to know that if I fall that I won't be caught that they'll just let me fall. Let me make mistakes and yet always be around if I need to talk about things or come home.

I guess if they could hear that they'd say '_Our little girl's all grown up_' and I guess I am, I'm ready to face everything this life can offer me. My parents raised me to be a strong woman and I'm ready to face whatever this new life wants to throw at me. I am ready to go for the next level in the stage known as life, taking with me all the customs my parents had and adding new flavour to it. I am ready to be the next step in the evolution of the Curry family. I guess it took me until just now to realise that my parents weren't old fashioned and against change that they evolved from the footsteps of their parents now it is my turn. I need to go and tell them of my dreams in life, my ideals, so that they too can witness the new change in evolution of our family.

I guess in reality I'm not just another face in the crowd. I'm a Curry, part of an evolving family. I am my mother, just a new generation of my mother, and my daughter will be like me but more daring and will take a new step of evolution.


End file.
